You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
