also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
