So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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