That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
