I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
bring money and cleavage
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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