Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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