508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just high enough for therapy.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
