i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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