Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
