I hate your face
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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