new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
