I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
