I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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