there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
