i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
