So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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