it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize