I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
