I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
