He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You took a bar mat shot.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
