So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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