I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
