ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
