I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
