Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We had to coat check the pizza.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
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