I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Randomize
