SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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