so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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