Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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