Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
