i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
