I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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