She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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