Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
