Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
