no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Randomize
