I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize