My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just gift wrapped bread.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
