WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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