I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
