So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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