I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
