It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
