Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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