my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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