I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize