am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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