Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
