Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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