I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
