It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
