Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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