Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
