yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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