You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
