I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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