Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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