I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
