he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
