When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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