so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
