You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
