Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
