I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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