But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
