id be glad to
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
