wanna go halves on a baby?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
