I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize