It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize