Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
