She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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